from zero to grateful

Another year around the sun,
down here below feeling low,
singing blue,
getting numb

Feeling raised places
Where skin
Is redesigned
As a witness to what happened

And from time to time
Multiplied by our years
Is a scar unseen
None less soaked by tears

Why did they say it
Why did they not
Trust betrayed
Choices made
Patterns held
Beauty blocked

And I’ve looked on with envy
At who I could’ve been
If my folks were the folks
I could go to back then
And say these things you insist on
Take too much focus away
From things you can’t see me
Toil with in the shadows of day

Whose rules do we follow
In the throes of religion
To disallow me to speak
Permit you not to listen

Neglect by another name
Is the hiding from the likely
Even if you love me
Especially when you like me

Trying hard to save us from the world and its sin
That it rose up from the corner and swelled from within

And in turned to my pen
Write my book Lamentations as in blood
But it sounded like RAP
Deemed unholy, no good

And that ink that could have been red
as it flowed from my veins
Became a serum of healing
to recover from multiple things

And never forget that day by the door,
You spoke with contempt, leaving me sore

You knew me,
But didn’t know where I was
Especially not in relation to where I was headed

I’ve gone far now into a land of sickness like a medic
With words of healing truth and when need be an anesthetic

Some times I came home and read it
Before your mind’s decline and fade
I think you glimpsed a fraction of the Divinity
in the choices I’d made

But I hardly could tell you the entire truth:
The life you forbade
Healed my neck
After shredding the noose


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